Craft FAIL: My Lopsided Chunky Hat

Nerdland
The infamous hat in all its glory. Note how uneven the brim is. How did I manage to do that, exactly? Read on.
The infamous hat in all its glory. Note how uneven the brim is. How did I manage to do that, exactly? Read on.
The top of the hat. About the only part that came out well.
The top of the hat. About the only part that came out well.
The hat in "tube" form, before I gathered the ends to make a ruffled top.
The hat in “tube” form, before I gathered the ends to make a ruffled top.
This is it, the heart of the problem. Instead of a nice, neat rectangle, what I made looks more like a drunken trapezoid. In retrospect, I should have started over long before I finished. I guess I was just hoping against hope that somehow the narrow end would stretch out just enough to make it work...
This is it, the heart of the problem. Instead of a nice, neat rectangle, what I made looks more like a drunken trapezoid. In retrospect, I should have started over long before I finished. I guess I was just hoping against hope that somehow the narrow end would stretch out just enough to make it work…

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this disaster, it’s this: Never again will I refuse to count my stitches.

Actually, maybe I’ve learned a second thing: The time to test your crochet freestyle skills is NOT when you’re using an unfamiliar yarn. I hubristically thought that my crochet skills were good enough that I no longer needed a pattern for simple projects. “It’s just a hat,” I told myself haughtily. “And not even a hat in the round. This is the cheat way to make a hat – all I have to do is just make a really fat rectangle and tie it together at one end. Even a beginner can do that.” And you know what? Under normal circumstances, I would probably be right in thinking this.

Unfortunately, this time was different. This time I decided to use Lion Brand Homespun yarn (Thick and Quick variety). I’ve been saving this yarn up in my crochet drawer (yes, I’ve devoted an entire chunk of precious college storage space to this hobby-turned-obsession) for months, just waiting for the right project to come along. And then it finally did – and it seemed simple enough that I could just wing my way through it.

Problem is, all the extra loops of fiber wrapped around the central thread of Homespun yarn makes it really difficult to tell where stitches begin and end. I had to literally use my fingers to find the the “V” that you’re supposed to insert your hook into. I got better with this as the project went along, but when I started my first row I had no idea how to count the number of stitches.

I figured it would be way too tedious to strugglebus my way through this project by guesstimating my stitch count on every row, and besides, what kind of crocheter am I if I haven’t learned how not to skip stitches by now?

Yeah…

No.

I started out with 32 stitches and somehow ended up with 25 on the last row. AND, what’s more, I crocheted a few too many rows, so the hat just kind of sags on my head instead of actually fitting to it.

I guess there’s a silver lining to all of this: I did learn a couple of things, including how to count Homespun stitches.

But on the other hand, I really wish I had a hat right now.

Oh well. I guess it’s time for me to enjoy the joys of frogging

 

 

Comments

  1. Reply

    I like the Loppy!
    Front! It looks ‘done’on purpose.
    So rock the Loppy!

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